Your Money, or Your Life?
Your money or your life?
At first glance the answer may seem obvious, but take a deep breath and honestly appraise your life. Most of us, yours truly included, choose our money at the direct expense of lifestyle. As I write, on April 24th 2021, it seems like something is in the water; at this moment 5 close friends are actively considering blowing up their high-paying-job-lives and going minimalist, and everywhere I turn the F.I.R.E. (Financial Independence Retire Early) Movement is the topic of conversation. And to top it all off, two weeks ago my own (very sound) personal financial philosophy was punched squarely in its face.
What the financial face-punch looked like:
At the end of Q1 I received a $29,000 commission check. This was the single largest payout I’d ever received. At the same time several of my crazier investments were doing quite well. My net worth was feeling very foreign and I began to have an existential crisis.
This all happened at the start of a quick vacation to San Diego–a trip I forced myself to take after a month working nights and weekends on a client project launch. I was hell bent on enjoying this money (mostly to counteract the stress earning had caused). But I was excited about it. I had been looking forward to it, and now it was here and I was stoked.
But after about an hour on the road, while driving through the delightful dunes on interstate 8 with my girlfriend, we both subtly slipped into fantasies of how we could blow up our own lives.
A bulleted blow-up chronology:
First we decided to live in a sprinter van and be insta-famous hiking influencers.
Then we decided against it.
Next we decided to become farmers–work 6 months on, 6 months off. I could be a novelist and she could get her women’s studies degree. Perfect.
Then we decided against it.
I panicked and threw $10,000 of my check into savings. I felt a bit better.
I opened up “The 4 Hour Chef” again. This made me feel even better and got me excited about a future of life-long learning.
I reacquainted myself with Mr. Money Mustache. Now I was excited about retiring in 10 years.
During the San Diego stay I enjoyed fine meals, museums, the beach, and a fierce sunburn. I justified it all. Seriously, I felt like this was worthy money spending.
I firmly decided to explore minimalism more, revisit my relationship with money, and create a plan of living intentionally to “retire” majorly early.
Even as I write this I get that pit in my gut that maybe I’m copping out…that maybe I’m doing that thing where I size up the game, realize I can’t win, and drop out just so I don’t lose.
But then I read that ^^^ thought and think yet another thought:
“What’s so wrong with that? Isn’t that exactly what we should all do? Size up the game critically, honestly admit to ourselves that victory is not in the cards for us (or any of us for that matter), and humbly resign?”
Isn’t this what sanity looks like?
Maybe contrasting could help:
Again, I’m still very much on the fence here, just so you know (dearest reader). I’m conducting this thought experiment in real time literally as I write. So bear with me.
Here’s a bunch of things we, in our current society, consider normal:
Financing $40k automobiles for 72 months at 9% interest. Trading that same car in years before the payoff for another, newer vehicle before the amortization table has shifted away from interest-heavy payments in favor of principal-heavy payments.
Making a decision at 17 years of age to acquire an average of $32k in debt for an undergrad degree in a subject that one has decided is guaranteed to be a lifelong passion. Also, not sure what’s crazier here:
The 17 year old owning the debt under these wacky pretenses
The much older, supposedly wiser parents willingly hopping on the hook for the kiddo’s student loans.
Buying lots of clothes.
Having the latest gadgets.
Drive thrus. In general.
“Needing” huge houses.
Working 40 hours a week, let alone more.
Making career decisions (where you’ll spend 80,000 hours of your life) based solely of income targets.
Driving everywhere.
$6 coffees.
Not raising your kids yourself.
Amazon. Period.
Disclaimer: I fall into most of these traps. Not holier than nobody. Just inventorying and observing for my own sake (and maybe yours?).
It’s no wonder that more and more alternative lifestyles are popping up. Gig working is not just for those that can’t find full employment, it’s also for those who prioritize control over their own lifestyle. Remote work and geo-arbitrage is becoming easier and easier, and empowers the worker to choose their expenses (which often has more of an impact on wealth accumulation than trying real darn hard to get that raise). Digital nomadism, content creator careers, freelance creative gigs, consulting, coaching…the list grows each year.
But back to my crisis:
The struggle I personally find myself in is that I’ve somewhat succeeded in putting one of those lifestyles together before. I did it when I built and ran VITALS Agency. But I still had hangups.
Did I really give myself fully to the alternative lifestyle? I think not.
Did I exit the maze and drop out of the rat race? I did not.
Did I abandon competition and comparing using the yardstick of annual income? Certainly not.
So, what can I do next time? THIS time?
Well, I never really did dive into minimalism. So, let’s start there. Being less of a “consumerist weenie” is still a big consideration. I’m better than some at avoiding frivolous spending, but I’m far from fiercely frugal. It’s good I have a small apartment at the moment–literal physical space limits that’s already helped me avoid certain purchases.
I will also seriously revisit the question: “What would you do with your life if money wasn’t and object?” This question gets to the heart of what some call “passion”. For me, it’s a purpose thing. At the very least it makes sure that I am not being seduced into professions, project, or paths with money as a mile-marker.
Just keep saving and investing.
It might really be that simple.
I’ll leave it there for now.
Your Turn:
Where are you with money? What’s your philosophy? How much have you really thought about it, and the alternatives to it? A pig is content to sit in its own shit. Are you?
I will never presume to have "figured it all out", and I always learn best from conversation and healthy debate. Comment below and spark the chat-fire!
